This year I hope I feel different. Right now I feel different. A good different. Um. I’ve been thinking about lent and what to give up and I want it to be good. The best. Not the usual things: Meat, in general, cussing, soda, beds, etc. Something good. Something to make me feel different.
Recently I’ve been surrounded by such negativity. So much, I honestly wished that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. I was so sad and I felt so lonely. I still do, feel lonely I mean. I probably always will too. BUT this time I want to be honestly, completely free of negativity. Sounds impossible, it probably is. Because people. The people I’m forced to be around almost 24/7 are not the most positive people. They aren’t helpful in this. They provide a lot of my negative feelings actually. So how will I be able to change my feelings? I have no idea. I need constant reminders and saying and things running through my head. Good movies and books and flowers and walks and adventures and good things. I need good things. My lack of good things drives me crazy!!!@ So I need good things. I got little religious books about good things. One is called “The power of positive thinking.” Its 56 pages long and hopefully every single one of those pages is A GOOD THING. I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore lol. I think I’m going to go on a spiritual journey. Hopefully I can. Hopefully I don’t give up this lent. I want to find something so I’m not so LOOONELYYYYYYYYYY. So negative feelings don’t take over my mind and they aren’t the only things that I think about. I’m going to go now because I have no ideas whatse goin wait, what? Lost my train